Mini mini poem

I was attending a toxicology class when I wrote this little poem . I find lecture halls are always inspiring : )

The ticking clock has stopped
to alarm those who are asleep
in a glass coffin they were awaiting
for the call that rings so deep

My birthday : )

Today is my birthday that makes me 21 years old . birthdays have always confused me , should I be happy because I was lucky enough to live for another year or should I be sad because I'm getting older and nearer to my end .

Half awake

I went to bed for the second time after I systemized my brain that I'm really gonna sleep this time. right before I close my eyes , it noticed Heath ledger 's photo that I attached it to the wall beside my bed
I stared at him and his eyes blinked . many questions were in my mind now .
Why I hate small talk ? Why I create worlds in my head and live in them more than I do in the real world ? Why I claim that I love philosophy then I hate a question like What is existence ?
at this point I was half asleep , I don't know what happened but I was back again full awake . questions went on , why he smiles when he look that sad ? Why do I have that picture in my room when I'm not a huge fan of him ? Why am I thinking of publishing this on my blog ?

Just a thought

Why we always try to impress those who don't like us ?
why this urgent need to be liked by every one ?

me vs me

I know who me is , I just don't know how to be her. everytime I find a mould to shape myself in it , the mould cracks and I leak out from it.
It's like I'm having too many sides and each one is struggling for survival and all this is killing me one stap a time and I'm bleeding to death

Unrealistic

The word I hate the most. what does it mean ?
an unrealistic person ? he is in real life , that's make him the complete opposite of being unrealistic. unrealistic thinking , well life is about your perception .
unrealistic movie or a picture ? Hello , it's a movie . it doesn't have to be realistic , it's hypothetical . it has nothing to do with reality unless you want it to.it's art , it doesn't have to be real .
Ed wood discovered that along time ago , maybe we should learn from him ...

I'm okay , thanks for asking .

I wish I didn't have to explain because I know that even if I tried , people won't understand. when someone asks me , " why you look so sad ? " or even " how are you ?" , do they really mean it ? I mean , do they really want to know ? or they are just asking out of social manners that obliges them to .
I hate the question

How are you ?

because the expected answer is always the same and those who ask don't really care much if you changed the answer ...

Somewhere

Somewhere only I know , somewhere I can be me .
draw on the sun , dance on the moon .
walk on the sea , climb the trees .
somewhere I can fly , reach for the sky .
somewhere not on a map , covered in black .
hiden from eyes , whitened by tears .