an idealist speaking her mind

everything is tasteless , nothing drives you , all pictures are the same colour , all songs say the same words , you feel empty , you don't know who you are anymore , you wish you can go back in time to meet the old version of you and ask it what happened ? what could have possibly happened to make you no longer able to recognize your own reflection in the mirror ?
 Was life that cruel ? is reality that hard to handle? are you sad because you changed ? do you hate your life for changing you or do you hate people who compelled you to become a different person just to be able to live among them ? since when you know hatred ? you never hated anything before .
you wish you can get back o the old you , you wish and I wish too .

creativity is healing

I don't get the inspiration to write unless I am sad . i haven't written for a long time  , this is a good thing , right ?
It's like that to be an artist is to suffer . it's when you are really down , you start to look for something to use to express yourself , to let all these feelings out ,  to find yourself a way out of this suffering ,then the magic happens and you just get burst into a wave of creativity and you come up with something original . it's yours , you made it . this makes you feel very powerful and then you find yourself coming out of that gloomy state and the world just get brighter .
creativity actually is a an action of healing .