an idealist speaking her mind

everything is tasteless , nothing drives you , all pictures are the same colour , all songs say the same words , you feel empty , you don't know who you are anymore , you wish you can go back in time to meet the old version of you and ask it what happened ? what could have possibly happened to make you no longer able to recognize your own reflection in the mirror ?
 Was life that cruel ? is reality that hard to handle? are you sad because you changed ? do you hate your life for changing you or do you hate people who compelled you to become a different person just to be able to live among them ? since when you know hatred ? you never hated anything before .
you wish you can get back o the old you , you wish and I wish too .

an unedited ,a completely random post :

I haven't written  for a while , well it's a very very long while . I don't know why but i am sure that something is wrong. i don't feel right maybe because i no longer spends much time alone. i love and i used to spend time by myself and it really made me feel great . now i feel that life is too fast for me, like if i can't cope with it any more. time passes and i don't even notice. when i had a job ( i quit my job a month ago because i got bored ) . my day went like this  wake up , go to work , eat , face book , TV , more eating , sleep . without the job , you could just delete the ( go to work ) part . that's it , no more no less. for nearly 3 months i have been doing nothing , no reading , no writing, no sudoku besides i am gaining weight . it's like  i have no desire to do or learn anything new , it's kind of losing motivation only living by the basics, like if I don't mind to die today, but still believe that life is beautiful so i decided to change all this.
 i will write something and post it here every day .
 i will read every day ( actually i have just started reading twenty love poems and a song of despair written by pablo neruda ) .
i will play sudoku and mahjong titans every day .
i will learn a new word in Italian every day
i will learn to do something new with paper ( the origami thing ) every day .and at last but not least , I am going on a diet and i will find some time to spend by myself and I will try to get out more . I really hope this would work for me , i hope it would make me feel better .

INFP and Deppresion

When it comes to Depression, I found that INFP is the most likely of all the types to report suicidal thoughts in college (MBTI Manual, 1998) as well as having the highest level of depression of the 16 types (Shelton, MBTI Applications, 1996). From McMan's Depression and Bipolar Web, he conducted an informal poll and posted the findings here: Taking it Personally. In it he found that more than 80% of the respondents are introverts, when they only account for less than 30% of the general population. Idealists (NF's) are also over-represented, at around 40% (but only comprise 8% of general population).

McMan mentioned a study by David Janowsky MD of the University of North Carolina in 2002, where he found a preponderance of introverts and feelers among a depressed population (74 percent introverts and 84 percent feelers).

So, what have we learnt?
• IN's are a lonely bunch
• NP's are most likely to be diagnosed ADD
• I's, NF's and F's are predominant among the depressed

Hey, who has all of the above? INFP! Of course, this doesn't mean that all INFP's end up being depressed ADDers, or that all those diagnosed with ADD and depression will be of type INFP. Just that there's a strong correlation between the type and the respective "disorders". Some people are biologically depressed due to chemical imbalance. Some type of ADD are caused by brain defects. But studies show that less than 10% of depression is biologically caused. So what causes depression? Stress (among other factors). Feeling the need to "fit in" a world dominated by ESTJ/SJ's, or at least a world where ESTJ type is encouraged (many U.S. presidents are ESTJ's, including George W. Bush). Also, a lot of gifted and creative kids are mis-diagnosed with ADD, simply because they are misunderstood.

I think we need more understanding all around. To understand ourselves better, and to understand each other better. For the "majority" to understand that the "minority" are not just "trying to be different", they are different. And for those who are different to understand that it's OK to be different. If we can try to understand how the various personality types function, the different ways they view the world, the different things that make them tick, we can get along much better and have more meaningful relationships.

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